In response to recent changes in my future plans and career aspirations I feel it necessary to try and grasp some of the key elements that are pointing me away from where I was, and toward where I want to be. I am afraid that I will leave out an item or two due to the fact that I have been thinking very deeply (or as deeply as I can) about it all and to record it here is simply not a possibility. Never-the-less maybe recording this will be helpful in collecting my thoughts and organizing my thinking so that everything might become more clear.
The following articles show the sad fall of a filmmaker that wants to make it big, to share his dreams with the world. I think I had such aspirations for the majority of high school years. After the mission, and after talking to some people and observing some things I am beginning to understand the challenge that would be. Especially as a Latter-day Saint.
Article 1: Richard Dutcher's farewell address.
http://www.heraldextra.com/news/opinion/utah-valley/article_c07f4ae0-bbee-5265-89c1-bae7b12ce676.html
Article 2: Kieth Merrill's response.
http://www.heraldextra.com/news/opinion/utah-valley/article_b53b1bac-b406-5180-8303-8388e86ec759.html
Article 3: Kieth Merrill's apology.
http://www.heraldextra.com/news/opinion/mailbag/article_a62b6406-cb20-5265-9688-48a243768d54.html
So it is pretty sad huh? I am not saying I am steering away from film because of a fear I will lose my testimony. It is just the fact that I do not want to spend my whole life slopping around in so much gray area (the R rated truths comment illustrates this though I don't fully agree with it). I love cinema and what can be done with it. I wish I had a bunch of money and friends in the industry. But, at the same time I don't think I want to live month to month or whatnot for the next project or shoot. I don't want to stress over survival and have to settle on anything less then happiness. The articles above exemplify a fairly well known quote that displays some of my concerns about LDS artists and filmmakers.
Acting President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve reminded us nearly twenty years ago that “the reason we have not yet produced a greater heritage in art and literature and music and drama is not … because we have not had talented people. … Some have reached great heights in their chosen fields. But few have captured the spirit of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the restoration of it in music, in art, in literature. They have not, therefore, even though they were gifted, made a lasting contribution to the on rolling of the Church and kingdom of God in the dispensation of the fullness of times. … They have missed being what they might have become. I am reminded of the statement: “ ‘There are many who struggle and climb and finally reach the top of the ladder, only to find that it is leaning against the wrong wall’ ” (“The Arts and the Spirit of the Lord,” 1976 Devotional Speeches of the Year, Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University, pp. 266–67).
I am excited to pursue art as a hobby, pass time, and an outlet for thoughts and feelings as the years go on. However, as I transition this next semester to a different focus of study I hope I can find a sensitivity and spirit of the light of Christ. In whatever I come to find helps others and fulfills a greater purpose here on earth for my family and I, things will turn out. I want to be on the ladder that is leaning against the right wall.
Thanks for sharing those thoughts and the articles from others. Sadness is probably the right response and resolving to learn from others' experiences is too. I sure feel like you've got your ladder where it should be and am glad you know how to move it if you discover you need to!
ReplyDeleteSo that's where Richard Dutcher went? That is sad. I guess his story reinforces the fact that it is difficult to be LDS and "successful" in the film industry without compromising standards. I think you are right; these days it is hard to be amidst the gray and not be affected, especially in film where there are so many gray (and increasingly darkening) areas.
ReplyDeleteLots of serious thoughts on this. I know it's a huge lot and am amazed at what men take on when they provide spiritually as well as physically for the family. You are just the man for the job. I'm anxious to hear more of your thoughts on all of this. Hope CA was fun!
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